What's This Blog About

(ORIGINALLY POSTED SEPTEMBER 2, 2004)

UPDATE: This is for those of you visiting for the first time, or who have never heard my story. You can also read about it in the June 2005 Issue of GQ Magazine here.

I was adopted at age [four] by a black family in Omaha, Nebraska. From the time of my adoption up until [four] years ago, I knew nothing about my natural parents. In fact, while I had been curious now and then, it wasn't until I got married and had children of my own that I found the motivation and desire to actually take action on the subject. Even then, it took [a lot of] prodding by my wife to become active in an actual search. [AND I THANK HER IN MY HEART EVERY DAY FOR IT!!!]

As luck would have it, just as I began my search, my natural mother found me first. She was living in California (and still is) as do her daughters (even though technically half, they are my sisters to me) and their families. About ten months later I also found my biological father and six more brothers and sisters, living back in his native country, Nigeria. And then there is the "Prince" story.



So what is this about? It's mostly be about my adoption story. I will also keep you up to date on the most recent aspects of my story as well as the progress I make on some of my new goals. These include my quest to take my wife and children to Africa to meet their Nigerian family, and to bring my Nigerian family to the United States to see where I live.

And of course I will be throwing in a few opinions here and there on different issues ranging from adoption, to race realtions, to what makes a family and so on (although I'll keep a separate blog for any overtly political ramblings.)

This past May I went to Nigeria to meet my father and his children (my six brothers and sisters) for the very first time thanks to a wonderful surprise on my birthday (40 on 04/04/04, a numerologist's dream). A writer and photographer from GQ Magazine went with me on my trip and will be publishing a story about my trip and adoption experience that will be on the stands October 25th. More on that later.

I hope you enjoy reading this. Drop a comment here and there to let me know you stopped by!

Also- find out why I am accepting donations.

UPDATE 8/26/2004: Looks like the GQ article won't be out until February 2005.

UPDATE 2/20/2005: Uh... Make that later this year- perhaps April or May 2005.

UPDATE 5/19/2005: It hit the stands in New York and L.A. on May 19th. May 26th for the rest of the world.

Another "15 Minutes" Coming Up

(ORIGINALLY POSTED AUGIST 29th 2004)

When the first article about my story came out in the local paper, and was then sent out on the AP wire, I got phone calls from about 20 radio stations all around the country, plus from Canadian Broadcasting [CBC] in Toronto and BBC London- all different programs that wanted to inteview me and ask me questions on the air about my story. It was quite overwhelming, and though it was flattering that they all wanted to hear about my story, I didn't really have a lot of answers for them. I didn't fully understand what it meant to be an Nigerian Igbo (ee-bo) prince, plus it was very difficult to describe how I felt at the time.

The "Prince" idea was cool and all, but I was much more excited about the fact that I had finally come in contact with both sides of my biological family. I had already met my mother along with my two sisters, and many of my aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews, etc. on her side. My next big priority was to get to Nigeria to meet my father- preferably with my wife and children going with me so we all could meet my his side of the family.. That is what was really important to me. The thought of that reunion was the truly exciting part of the story for me. However, for the media that contacted me, they were more intrigued about the Prince angle.

In May of [2004], thanks to the grace of God and a little behind the scenes trickery by Laura (a.k.a. The Wife) I finally got the opportunity to travel to Nigeria for the first time to meet my biological father, my six brothers and sisters, and dozens of other relatives living in the village of Aboh Orlu. An editor from a major magazine who had been following my story went with me and brought along a photographer (and his assistant) to document my trip. The article he is writing comes out in their November issue. (I'll tell you which magazine as we get closer to the publish date.)

I am not sure what to expect when the article finally hits the news stands, but because it is going to a very large article in a major magazine, I am sure that I will get another barrage of calls when it comes out. My biggest concern is that it doesn't disrupt my family and my job. While the 15 minutes of fame can be exciting, I also know that I must keep it in perspective.

Now that I have been to Nigeria, the next step for me is to go back again with my wife and children along so that my father can meet his grandchildren. Our goal is to go in December of 2005. It takes a lot of planning and a heck of a lot of money to travel to Nigera- especially with children. Thus we put off going one more year and decided it would make more sense to go in 2005 when we could spend a lot more time saving money to get there.

This has been an incredible turning point in my life that I have chosen to share with other people- especially other adoptees that may have found or are still looking for their biological parents. It is my greatest hope that in the process of getting my second "15 minutes of fame" I will be able to use the opportunity to 1) get my family over to Nigeria, and 2) help as many others reach their own dreams as possible.

UPDATE 8/29/2004: MY wife tells me that it's OK to say the name of the magazine. The November issue of GQ Magazine comes out on October 25th.

Update 5/10/2005: O.K. As you can tell, the original publish date of the GQ article got pushed back. In fact, it got pushed back a couple of times. But it will definitely be coming out at the end of this month (June 2005 issue.)

Mother's Day

Me and my two moms, Juanita (left) and Kathleen (right).

I am one of a select few people who can boast having two actual moms to thank on Mother's Day.

I met Juanita Johnson when I was four years old. I didn't actually understand what was happening at the time- that this woman I was meeting would be my mother. At that age, who knew that wasn't how everybody got a family?

What I do know is Juanita Johnson is the first person that I could call "Mom." She's the one who took me to piano lessons. She is the one who made me brush my teeth every day. She is the one who made sure had my lunch money. She is the one who sat through every baseball game, school play, music concert, and anything else that I was doing at any given time when I was growing up. Though the innate abilities I had came from a place I didn't know (yet), my mom (and my dad) allowed me to explore and nurture every inch of my talents, and always supported me when I was at my best and when I was at my worst.

I met Kathleen O'Connor Wang in March 2001- I was just shy of my 37th birthday. Back in 1964, when she gave me up for adoption, it was a very different time and America was a very different place. I can only imagine what it would have been like for a nice Irish Catholic girl to raise a black child. But that wasn't really the issue for my mother and her family. My mother wasn't ready to raise a child alone and my grandparents already had five other kids in the home and two in college.

So my mother did something selfless that so many others have done. She gave me a chance in life.

And my mom stepped up, gave me a home, and improved those chances at every possible turn.

My life is full of great stories- I've done more things than most people can even dream of. But my best story is that I have two moms who made everything in my life possible.

Mrs. Johnson and Ms. Wang- thank you for the amazing things you have done for me. I owe you a lot. More than anyone could know.

I love you. Happy Mother's Day!

Quiz of the Month

It's lunchtime and thought I'd give you a quiz:

Guess who is going to be on the cover of GQ in June (the same issue as my story)?

You only get one guess.

(Answer to be revealed on June 19th...)

The Ultimate Family Reunion

I was checking out one of my daily reads, Booker Rising and I came across a post on How to Organize a Successful Family Reunion and it got me to thinking about one of my greatest dreams since I discovered my natural mother's and natural father's families.


Home of the yearly Fourth of July Party

About 10 years ago, my dad began hosting a yearly Fourth of July party for our extended family and friends in his back yard back in Omaha. Over the years it grew bigger and bigger and as it grew, it became a de facto Family Reunion. It wasn't too hard for a number of our relatives, who live mostly in the midwest, to make it to Omaha for a holiday weekend. In fact, as of a few years ago, even my uncle in California and some cousins from Texas and D.C. would even make it out for the yearly celebration.

However, as of two years ago, with my parents both in their upper 70's, the event was getting too big for my parents to handle and the decided to no longer host the party.

At one of the last "Johnson Family Fourth of July" that Laura, the kids, and I attended and before my parents decided they weren't going to have the annual event any more, I was talking with my mom about a big dream that I have- having a family reunion. But not just any family reunion. This one, I would plan, host, and invite ALL of my family.

That would include my family I grew up with- my parents, my sister, my 96 year old grandmother and her children, grandchildren, great grand children and great, great, grandchildren. Basically all the descendants of Frank and Helen Johnson, my adoptive father's parents, from his older sister and his two brothers on down.

But then, I would also want to have all the descendants of my natural mother's father, Thomas O'Connor. That would include my mother and five living brothers and sisters (one of my uncles passed away several years ago) and all their children and grandchildren- especially my two sisters Mei-Lee and Frances.

Finally I would have my father, his seven living brothers and sisters and all the other living relatives of my Grandfather Ogike. That would include my six brothers and sisters in Nigeria- Chibuzo, Gerald, Amara, Obianuju, Phyllis, and Nnadozie. If you included all my cousins, etc. That alone would be over 140 people.

As I have said before, it would be a logistical nightmare. Besides all of the people traveling and coming from basically all over the U.S. and world (visas would be just part of the problem) finding places for everyone to stay, feeding what would be probably over 300 people, getting people to and from places- WHEW! I would definitely need a great sponsor, an event planner, and a bigger grill.

I know that this is a dream that could probably never happen, but man, would THAT be something?!

It w0uld be an amazing thing if it could happen.

Building Blog Traffic

I'm what I would call an "Occasional Blogger." I originally started blogging hoping that thousands upon thousands of people would start reading what I had to say and especially want hear about my compelling personal story on my Big Journey blog. I figured that all I had to do was write a few good posts and they would come.

Little did I realize how much time you have to put into deciding what to write about and actually typing it into coherant thought. But heck- I already had a built in, fascinating topic. I mean how many people discover that they are a prince at age 38? Who wouldn't want to read about that?

But then I discovered that I also was quite consumed by politics, (thanks to the 2004 elections, Glenn Reynolds, LaShawn Barber, Polipundit and many others on the blogroll) so I wrote a couple of political posts too. BUT figuring that I should keep my great personal story separate from my political thoughts and rantings, I started my second blog, You Know I'm Right.

Now I would be lying (as would every other blogger in the world) if I said that I write just for my own personal reasons and wouldn't care if nobody ever read either of my blogs. Of course, I want other people to read what I write. The back and forth of comments is what makes this fun. However, I haven't really mastered the art of using comments and trackbacks to get people to come to my two blogs. Also, I realize that I just plain don't write enough posts to get people to want to come back over and over to see what I have said lately.

Thus my term "Occasional Blogger." I blog once in a while when I'm not coaching my kids in sports, or working on a committee at their school, or volunteering as a community center, or helping a Realtor get a client pre-approved for financing at the last minute so they can make an offer on a house (I'm a mortgage banker in real life.)

Yeah- I get it. You have to make time to write often and write well, and even then, I may still never get a slew of regular readers.

But recently, I noticed a spike in traffic on the Big Journey blog. Now to me, this was quite odd because I haven't really written a lot of new posts, and frankly, I haven't even kept the story going in a single direction or up to date. And besides- I truly have been trying to hold off writing a lot about this until the GQ article about my story comes out. (Then I'll start blogging on that site in earnest.)

So how did this come about?


Marty's Big Journey- How did this happen?

Like I said- infrequent posts don't usually make for a huge jump in traffic. Nor did I get a world famous "Instalanch." So what caused this?

Google. Apparently there is a popular search out there that is finding one of my posts.

Back in September I made a post lamenting that fact that the GQ story was being pushed back for a while. The post included a certain photo and and key words that for some reason is sending me quite a few Google hits. (See below.)





(UPDATE (5/10/2005): I know many of you are getting to this post looking for the lovely young lady in the picture above, but while you are here, why not find out why I reference this magazine in the first place... )

Apparently the search for Lohan on Google Images search has been giving me quite a pop in traffic (I'm number two!).

I guess all of those interesting, insightful, entertaining, fascinating, and otherwise brilliant posts I have been writing just don't mean a thing. Just put a pop culture icon in the blog and you'll get plenty of traffic!

Too damn funny!

UPDATE:5/10/2005: Now this explains it. Maybe I just need to work on the other twenty four.

UPDATE 5/11/2005: Lori Byrd at Polipundit says that women like pretty pictures too.


(Cross-posted at my more political blog- You Know I'm Right.)

The Chief Comes to Minnesota

Udeh-Ekeh speaks to GT's third grade class at Rahn Elementary School in Eagan.

As I mentioned in an earlier post, my father came to the United States for the first time in over forty years, spending most of his time in California, where two of his sisters live. However, before he left for home in Nigeria, he made a special trip to Minnesota to meet my wife and his grandchildren. While it was a short trip, it meant the world to me and my family for him to be here.

We prepared for his visit by getting the house clean and planning a special reception on Friday night for which we invited may of our friends and local family members. We also planned on taking him around the Twin Cities to se some of the places we frequent, as well as showing him the kids' school, the Mall of America, and some of the city lakes. If we had time, we also planned on taking him to the Cathedral of Saint Paul- the place of my baptism. (My father is a devout Catholic.)

We planned on his arrival on Tuesday night but on the day of his flight there was a glitsch. He was to board a plane in Los Angeles at 5 P.M. PST, but around 7:00 our time we got a call that made out hearts sink. Udeh-Ekeh was not allowed on his flight because he didn't have his passport. Apparently, because his return flight to Nigeria was coming soon, and because he was planning of flying via Luftansa, he needed to get a transit visa in order to fly through Germany. My aunt had given up his passport to get the proper stamps and they would not be able to get it back until the next day. And, as you ca guess, you can't get on a flight without proper I.D. here in the states, even for a domestic flight. My father's passport was the only acceptable I.D. he had.

Fortunately, Delta Airlines allowed him to change his flight for the next day, even though the flight was booked through Priceline (normally non-refundable, no changes allowed, non-transferable.) UNfortunately, we lost a day to what was already going to be a short visit. We were VERY bummed about the situation, but at least he was able to change the flight and still come to Minnesota.

Fact Checking

Today I got another call from Jordan, the fact checker from GQ, who wanted to get some final details cleared up for my story. He called after I had just left a real estate office of an agent who I am trying to do some business with (if you didn't already know, I am a mortgage banker) and was on my way to pick up my kids from their school.

As I have been going through the process of having a major story being written about my life, I am somewhat surprised at how thoroughly the fact checkers go through a story to make sure so many of the details are correct. Jordan talked with my father (the Nigerian one) three time while he was visiting the States, each time for an hour or so. He also has spoken to my mother (California), my parents (Omaha), my wife, my sister Uju in Lagos, my brother Nnadozie in Orlu, my brother Chibuzo in Abuja, and my Aunt in California.

He was making sure that names were spelled correctly, events were in the right order, and going through every detail of the story to make sure that everything was factual. In fact, I even learned a few things due to the process. For example, ever since high school, when I began telling other people that I was adopted, I always said that I was three years old when my parents brought me into their family.

However in talking to my parents, Jordan was told that I was adopted when I was four years old. Seems like a minor detail, but I now remember that I was already four. Now that I look back, I see where that is right. My fourth birthday was the same day that Martin Luther King got shot, and now I remember that I was still at the foster home in Dubuque when those reports were on the television. I didn't really understand the situation that well at the time but I knew that Dr. King was an important man and that many people were sad. I also know that my fifth birthday was at my new home in Omaha.

Anyway- back to the fact checking. I have spoken with Jordan about five different times- three times for about an hour to ninety minutes, and the last couple of times for ten to fifteen minutes or so. He says that the layout is almost complete (including the layout) which means that after over a year, and three postponements, IT IS REALLY GOING TO RUN!!! (O.K. It's going to be the June issue, not May. But- at least it is finally going to run!)

I can't wait to see what it is going to look like.

FINALLY!

We have finally got the word that GQ Magazine is finally going to publish the story. Everybody in my family has been getting calls from a "fact checker" to make sure the details of the story that Jason is writing is accurate.

It will be out in the June issue, coming to a newstand near you in late May. It'll be a huge seller. You might want to get your subscription early! :)

Maybe now I can begin to keep this blog up-to-date on the story without feeling guilty of giving it all away. From this point on, I will do a better job of keeping this log updated.

By the way- did I tell you that my father came to Minnesota? I didn't???!!!

Man, do I have some catching up to do.

Update: I'm still trying to guess who will be on the cover when my story gets published. Obviously, it won't be Jessica Alba, eh? Done that!

Bumped Again...

I had stopped blogging for quite a while about my life journey from Foster home, to an adoptee growing up in Omaha, to meeting my biological mother, to discovering my father in Nigeria.

This had been, in part, due to my lack of time to devote to this endeavor, but also out of repect for my new friend Jason at GQ Magazine who has been putting a lot of effort into a story about my trip to Africa to meet my family there for the first time.

The article was to come out in the February issue of 2005 (which is hitting the stands in 11 days.) However, as of today, I was informed that the article has been bumped again- to the May 2005 issue. This is the third (or maybe second, or maybe fourth) time that I've been pushed back. It's very frustrating, because I have been constantly getting questions from friends and family asking me when the article is coming out.

So why is it that it keeps getting moved back? Jason explains:

I wish I could give you a great reason this time but it's really the most basic reason: space. We didn't have enough pages to do it properly and justify the length of the story and the article. It's not - and I have assurances from everyone here on this - at all a reflection on their interest in the piece, which remains unquestionably high.

This is extremely frustrating. But Jason is stil a really a cool guy and I know he is doing his best to get this in the magazine. I just won't tell any more of my family and friends about it until it is actually on the stands.

Marty's Big Journey, Part 1- The Real Beginning

Kathleen, 1963


In 1963 Kathleen, a college student from the University of New Mexico, went to Iowa to spend her summer away from school with her family. Her parents lived in Cedar Falls, home to Iowa State Teacher's College (now the University of Northern Iowa).

Kathleen's parents were well known by many of the foreign students around the college, especially among some of the African students whom they often befriended and became a sort of pseudo-host family. The students didn't live in their home, but were welcomed there on many occasions.

One of these students was John, a 30 year old Masters Degree candidate from Nigeria, who had become especially good friends with Kathleen's father, Tom. John had come to continue his education so that he could eventually return to his village and run the school that was founded by his father. Tom took a liking to the very industrious young man and often had him over for meals, gave him advice, and helped him to find jobs painting and working on farms.


John, 1963


Kathleen and John had a good friendship and spent much time together. But alas, the summer came and went, and Kathleen returned to school in New Mexico while John went back to school right there in Cedar Falls to finish up the last few months of his advanced degree. But when Kathleen got back to New Mexico she made a shocking discovery. She was pregnant. I don't know the complete details other than "one time" after a night out, it happened.

When Kathleen called her mother to ask for help, arrangements were made to find a place for her to live while waiting for the birth of her baby. Like many a young Catholic girl who found themselves in such a situation, Kathleen was to "disappear" for several months until her child was born and could be adopted by a family better prepared to raise a child. The arrangements were made and her mother immediately left for New Mexico to bring Kathleen home and then on to a Catholic home for unwed mothers in Saint Paul, Minnesota.

In the Beginning...

Marty and Laura get Married (1993)

Well, not exactly "the beginning."

Since much of my spare time and extra effort over the past few weeks and months has been going toward preparing a presentation about my story, I have a lot of great material to share. But first, I have to give credit where credit is due.

When I met my wife twelve years ago, I had not spent a lot of time thinking about being adopted. Of course there were times in my life when I would have thoughts and daydreams about what my natural parents might have been like or when I would be curious if, per chance, I had any brothers or sisters out there. But it was never a pressing issue to consume a lot of my time and thought.

I have always had a family- my parents that raised me, my sister, the grandparents and cousins... They were my strength and I was a part of them. That balanced out any curiosity that may have been in the back of my head.

However, for Laura, that answer didn't satisfy HER curiosity. Thus, she would ask me many, many times in the first several years of our marraige if I ever thought about finding my parents. she just couldn't understand how I could go through life NOT knowing. And thankfully, she was never satisfied with my standard answer.

Though I probably would have eventually searched, she was the catalyst that got me thinking about learning more about myself and where I came from. Plus she gave me something that really helped me get started on this journey of self discovery- two wonderful children. More on that later.

So thank you to my wonderful wife- Laura Catherine Johnson. You are definitely the best part of me and and I will always love you!

GQ Magazine is Pushing Back the Article

Taking a back seat to...

UPDATE (5/19/2005): I know many of you are getting to this post looking for the lovely young lady in the picture above, but while you are here, why not find out why I reference this magazine in the first place...

I spoke with GQ Senior Editor Jason Gay this weekend and it looks like the article about my adoption story and my trip to Nigeria to meet my biological father is going to get bumped from the November issue. But that actually may be a good thing.

One reason they want to push it back is that Mark Seliger- the photographer that traveled with us- took so many amazing photos of the trip, they just don't have enough room in the November issue for all the images they want to use. That is also good news for me because Mark promised me some prints- I can't wait to see them.

The second blessing in disguise is that the article won't have to compete with this year's election. The brass at GQ seems to think that this could be a huge national story that would be overshadowed by all the media air being sucked up Bush vs. Kerry and the aftermath of election day. February just might be a much more human interest story friendly month. I have no problem with that. (Not that it would matter if I did.)

Now if they could only find a cover that will promote sales in the U.S. (How about finding an excuse to put Lindsay Lohan on the cover again to sell a few extra issues?)

Side Note: There is also a possibility that the article could end up in GQ's South Africa edition. However, I will be sending my relatives in Nigeria the U. S. edition.

UPDATE 10/5: O.K. It has just been brought to my attention that Lindsay Lohan is only 18 years old, but I say it doesn't matter. I wasn't being leacherous- I was being practical. Salivating guys and teenage girl fans of Lohan will buy the issue just because she is on the cover, thus increasing sales of that issue. That is what I meant by "promote sales." (But I will admit that she is an attractive young lady.)

The Presentation Went Great!

Yesterday I gave my big presentation entitled African Homecoming: A Reunion Story for friends, family, and even a few strangers. My children's former school, Becks Montessori, and Grace Slavic Church deserve a big thanks for allowing me to use their facility and AV equipment.

We had about 85 people at the event where I debuted my hour long multi-media presentation about my adoption story and my recent trip to Africa to meet my biological father. I also cooked some traditional Nigerian foods for sampling and had some of my local Nigerian friends come to perform a traditional Igbo greeting- the breaking of the Kola Nut.

Everyone in the audience gave great 'reviews' of the presentation and I am grateful for their interest in my story. Now I can continue blogging about my story and the experience.

UPDATE: Oh yeah-- I almost forgot. Jason Gay- the editor from GQ who has written a story about me for his magazine- flew in from New York just for my presentation. So did Scott Fort- an assistant to a movie producer who is considering my story either the big or small screen. (We'll see if that one works out- hoping for the best.)

OETR

Yes, it stands for Officer Education Transcript Repository. (Thanks Allah and Baldilocks.)

Now read, "What's This Blog About?" I plan on writing much more starting again on Sunday the 26th of September (the day after the presentation.) Also, my more politically edged blog, You Know I'm Right, will be firing away again soon. I've just been too caught up in reading about Dan Rather on all the other blogs.

Thanks for stopping by and I hope you come back to enjoy the story. Maybe after election day when things calm down, you can drop by to enjoy a what I consider a fascinating story!

P.S. Now I need the blogosphere to investigate what I think is another hoax.

I Must Finish This Presentation

I cannot write another word in either of my blogs until I finish my powerpoint presentation on my trip to Africa (the one where I met my father for the first time.) I am doing a practice run at a friends house this coming Friday, and will have a real audience for the first time on the 25th of September.

Then I have two college groups and a church that have asked me to speak about my experience. (And the GQ Magazine article hasn't even come out yet.)

Sorry to my few but ever growing number of readers- it's going to be another day or two. If you haven't read starting at day one, I invite you to do so. Also- tell a friend or two about this while you're at it.

Thanks!

UPDATE 9/5/2004: (O.K. So I fudged a bit- I'm not quite done yet.) I finished the Powerpoint part of the presentation last night by staying up late. I even got a little of the writing done before I realized that I was asleep and drooling.

What's This Blog About?

This is for those of you visiting for the first time, or who have never heard my story.

I was adopted at age three by a black family in Omaha, Nebraska. From the time of my adoption up until three years ago, I knew nothing about my natural parents. In fact, while I had been curious now and then, it wasn't until I got married and had children of my own that I found the motivation and desire to actually take action on the subject. Even then, it took some prodding by my wife to become active in an actual search.

As luck would have it, just as I began my search, my natural mother found me first. She was living in California (and still is) as do her daughters (even though technically half, they are my sisters to me) and their families. About ten months later I also found my biological father and six more brothers and sisters, living back in his native country, Nigeria. And then there is the "Prince" story.



So what is this about? It's mostly be about my adoption story. I will also keep you up to date on the most recent aspects of my story as well as the progress I make on some of my new goals. These include my quest to take my wife and children to Africa to meet their Nigerian family, and to bring my Nigerian family to the United States to see where I live.

And of course I will be throwing in a few opinions here and there on different issues ranging from adoption, to race realtions, to what makes a family and so on (although I'll keep a separate blog for any overtly political ramblings.)

This past May I went to Nigeria to meet my father and his children (my six brothers and sisters) for the very first time thanks to a wonderful surprise on my birthday (40 on 04/04/04). A writer and photographer from GQ Magazine went with me on my trip and will be publishing a story about my trip and adoption experience that will be on the stands October 25th. More on that later.

I hope you enjoy reading this. Drop a comment here and there to let me know you stopped by!

Also- find out why I am taking donations.

UPDATE 8/26/2004: Looks like the GQ article won't be out until February 2005.

UPDATE 2/20/2005: Uh... Make that later this year- perhaps May 2005.

Make a Donation

A friend of mine once suggested to include a spot on this site to accept donations. After some thought, I have decided that it couldn't hurt, and hopefully that this will be interesting and entertaining enough that people won't mind helping me reach a few goals for my family.

These are some of the reasons I am accepting donations at this site. Some are just dreams, but others could and need to become a reality. Now that I have met both of my birth parents and have traveled great distances to see them both:

1) There was a time that visiting my parents meant a six hour drive to Omaha. Now that I have two more parents to visit- one in California, and one in Nigeria- travel costs to visit all of them has become a very expensive proposition. Especially with my wife and two kids. (Especially Nigeria.)

2) The past couple of years have been less than a stellar financially. My goal has always been to take my whole family to Nigeria so that my children can see "where they come from." I am working hard to make the trip a reality but it is slow going. They are at an age where this trip can and will have a lasting impact on their lives.

3) This one is probably just a dream, but man would it be cool. I would like to have a family reunion. But not just any reunion. It would definitely be a dream come true if I could bring my three families together for a family picture in front of my house. That means bringing my mom, dad, and sister I grew up with in from Omaha, my mother and my two sisters and their children in from California, and my father, his wife, my six brothers and sisters and their families in from Nigeria. If I could get as many Aunts, Uncles, and cousins as possible, it could end up being over 300 people.

Yes, I know... major logistics. But it would be an incredible feat. If this one would ever happen, it would have to happen within the next few years as none of my parents are getting any younger. we would also probably have to have some sponsors.

4) The Nigerian Electrical Power Authority(NEPA) is extremely unreliable as a provider of electricity. One of my favorite jokes in Nigeria is that NEPA really stands for "Never Expect Power Always." Thus most people also have generators at their homes. It is my opinion that my father needs a new one. I would like to get one for him. (And perhaps one really big one for the entire village.) This should probably be number one on my list, as it would really help my father out.

5) My father was in the United States in 1963 getting his Master's Degree in Education so that he could eventually take over and run the school that my grandfather founded in the village of Aboh Orlu. There are probably a few hundred children that attend this school today. It would be an incredible gift to provide them school supplies each year, and perhaps even some computers. I'm sure that somebody out there could find some refurbished p2 or p3 computers to donate to a school. (Who has connections? I'll find a way to get the stuff over there.)

I will continue blogging about my experiences with my new super-extended family for as long as possible and keep you up-to-date as to my progress in all these endeavors. I will try to keep it interesting and include lots of photos.

I will continue in this format for now, though I think that I may need to upgrade to a format that is more user friendly- in other words, I plan on including a lot more photos, and perhaps even video. Thus, I think that I might need to upgrade from the free blogger.com site I am currently using, to a more tech savvy, self-hosted site with more graphics friendly software. (Note- I am open to suggestions on how to work this. )

What's in it for you? I will do my best to keep this an interesting blog. Look- if you have liked this story so far, you haven't seen anything yet. There is so much more to come. Especially as I start to explore this reunion idea AND especially if I am able post from Africa the next time I go. PLUS- we are also flirting with the idea of producing a documentary about my story. We'll get into that later. Have I mentioned the book or movie guys yet?

Finally- I know that asking for donation on a free blog site can sometimes border on tacky. If you are inclined to donate, bless you. If not, I'm still glad you're here. And if it is only a couple of bucks or a whole lot more, I know it's the thought that counts and you will be the object of my heartfelt gratitude. On behalf of me, my wife, my children, and my entire super-family...

Thank you for your consideration!

What AM I?

I was adopted by an African American family at age three. Add that to the fact that my features are that of a person of African descent, growing up I was part of the population that would check the square indicating "black" whenever I would fill out a form where I was asked to indicate my race. At some point it became more politically correct to call people like me African American, so when the term on the form changed, so did I.

Now it seems that maybe I may have been checking the wrong box all along. Especially after reading this from Stuart Buck's blog.

For a moment, the Ethiopian-born activist seemed to melt into the crowd, blending into the sea of black professors, health experts and community leaders considering how to educate blacks about the dangers of prostate cancer. But when he piped up to suggest focusing some attention on African immigrants, the dividing lines were promptly and pointedly drawn.

The focus of the campaign, the activist, Abdulaziz Kamus, was told, would be strictly on African-Americans."

I said, 'But I am African and I am an American citizen; am I not African-American?'" said Mr. Kamus, who is an advocate for African immigrants here, recalling his sense of bewilderment. "They said 'No, no, no, not you.'"

"The census is claiming me as an African-American," said Mr. Kamus, 47, who has lived in this country for 20 years. "If I walk down the streets, white people see me as an African-American. Yet African-Americans are saying, 'You are not one of us.' So I ask myself, in this country, how do I define myself?"

The New York Times article Buck references points out that some people believe that the term African American should only apply to those Americans who are descendants of slaves. (What about that Mrs. Heinz Kerry?)

Now here is my dilema. In my adoptive family, my 96 year old grandmother is the daughter of a former slave. Thus, she can use the term "African American" in almost any circle. And because of my features, I too would be thought of by most people as the same.

However, now that I have discovered my birth parents, and have learned that my father is native Nigerian, there are some who might deny me the right to call myself "African American."

Hmm- I was born and raised in the United States. And I am definitely from African descent. But maybe I should switch to Nigerian American? It doesn't roll off the tounge as easy, but it could work and it is probably more accurate.

WAIT- I'm also half Irish. Black Irish? No- they were those Irish people who supposedly had Spanish (or Italian) ancestry.

How about Nigerian-Irish-American? Nah- too long. Plus, I don't think they will have a check box for that one.

How about "Other?" Nah. Takes too long to fill in the blank.

Pehaps, I'll just stick to what I say when people are crass enough to ask me what I am. I usually just smile and say, I'm an American. I guess I'll have to leave the little boxes blank.


UPDATE: Here is a really good piece on this issue for anybody interested!

UPDATE 9/8: Welcome if you are coming from the "Carnival." PLUS, a big P.S. I couldn't be more proud of my Nigerian and Irish heritage and I am looking forward to learning more about all sides of my super-family!

The Presentation

I haven't been writing as much as I would like to because of "The Presentation." Part of the plan when I went to Africa was to have a gathering of all the people that helped make my trip happen, and show them photos and answer questions about my experience. Thus I have been working on a Powerpoint presentation using many of the over 500 photos I have and writing the stories of my travels.

While this may seem like a simple undertaking, it is not. You see, there were over 130 people who helped me with this trip. There are also at least another 100-200 who have asked me when the presentation is going to happen. We have asked my children's former school and the church that houses them to use their space, as we are expecting at least 100 people to this event.

Laura (a.k.a. "The Wife") has also been very busy gathering up door prizes and putting together a drawing and a silent auction (we'll donate the money to the school.) We will also have some other entertainment- an African student group at St. Olaf's College in Northfield has offered to bring thier award winning African dance troup to perform in exchange for me doing a presentation at their school. We will also have music from West Africa and I will be making samples of Nigerian foods for our guests to try. It is going to be a huge event.

The highlight for me will be to fulfill a promise I made to my father. In Igbo tradition, whenever someone comes to your home, or when you have special guests, or when there is a special event, you present them with a kola nut. It involves blessing the kola (which must be done in the Igbo language)-presenting it to your guests, and then cutting it into pieces to share.

In Nigeria, my father would often be the person who would bless the kola. Afterwards he would say a few words in English, offering kola nut to the guests. On a couple of occasions, he made a request of me to take a special kola nut back to the United States with me to present to our leaders as a gesture of good will on behalf of the people of Aboh Orlu. His instructions were to present one to our Mayor, one to our Governor, and one to the President of the United States, letting them all know that the people of Nigeria wish them wisdom and many blessings.

Thus, we have invited the mayor, the governor, and the President of the United States to our presentation. We also invited our Vice President, our local Congressman, our Senators, our State Representative. So far the Mayor as given an RSVP. Our Congressman cannot attend due to a prior commitment, but will have a representative there on his behalf. And the while the President's office responded... (Well- it is an election year, ya know!)

I guess I'll have to make a separate appointment with the Governor and the President. In any case, I will take pictures to send back to my father with those who show up so I can send the proof back to my father. I think that he will be pleased.